The Devils Advocate
by SUBJECT-XVI
Summary: Surprising isn't it? How far a man can go with a little bit of help and a couple gifts from long over due Immortals. Having failed the Ninja exam for the second time, Naruto's life takes a turn for the better as he excels leaps and bounds when he decides to take his education into his own hands.


**The Devil's Advocate chapter 1: A World So Cold**

**S-16: Yolo and Good marrow to you sirs and madams. I am SUBJECT-XVI here yet again with a Brand new story that you all may, or may not enjoy! I gladly- AH FUCK IT! I CAN'T TALK LIKE THIS ANYMORE! Okay let's try that again!**

**S-16: HELLOOOOO ALL YOU MOTHER FUCKERS! AS WELL AS ALL YOU MOTHERS WHO ARE FUCKING! THIS IS SUBJECT-XVI HERE WITH MY BRAND NEW CANDY ASS STORY THAT YOU ARE GOING TO LOVE EVEN IF IT'S AT GUN POINT!**

**Eve: I can't believe I'm saying this... But good to have you back ass hole this place wasn't the same after they dragged you off to the loony bin... again...**

**S-16: And don't I know it! THIS FUCKING PLACE LOOKS LIKE A GLITTER BOMB WENT OFF IN IT! WHAT THE FUCK EVE!**

**Eve: Hehehe... I can explain?**

**S-16: Oh ho you will my darling Eevee... You will!**

**S-16: BUT FIRST I OWN NOTHING!**

**Surprising isn't it? How far a man can go with a little bit of help and a couple gifts from long over due Immortals. Having failed the Ninja exam for the second time, Naruto's life takes a turn for the better as he excels leaps and bounds when he decides to take his education into his own hands.**

**(STORY START! NARUTO'S POV! 3****rd**** PERSON!)**

"DAMN IT!" A scream sounded throughout the village of Konoha scaring a few birds.  
"I CAN'T FUCKING BELIEVE THAT I FAILED AGAIN!" Naruto shouted coming into view clearly pissed off. "Sigh... I need new weapons..." Naruto said patting his weapon's pouch before sighing again having finally calmed down... somewhat.

Stomping down the street (he's still pissed) Naruto made his way over to the nearest weapon's shop named The Dutiful Blade. Barging in and ignoring the looks he was getting from the other customers and the Big burly man at the counter, Naruto proceeded to grab a bunch of Kunai, Shuriken, Ninja Wire, Explosive tags, and smoke bombs. He was on his way to the counter when he stopped for a second and grabbed a sword.

"I'd like to buy all of this please..." Naruto said politely having managed to drag up enough respect to at least stop snarling.

"Sorry" The guy at the counter said with a malicious grin. "But we don't serve demons here."

"Look buddy..." Naruto managed through gritted teeth. "I've got the money to buy all of this shit. Just let me have what I need so that I can go."

"Okay!" he said still grinning before sweeping the stuff Naruto had pilled onto the counter onto his side and under the lip. "Hey Kid this sword isn't right for you stay here and I'll something that's perfect." he said and walked through the door behind him. A couple seconds later Naruto could here the sounds of breaking wood and the man came back out holding a three foot long piece of wood that was in the rough shape of a boken obviously the sound of the snapping seconds before, the wood itself looked old decaying and gray like it was in the onsets of petrifaction. "There you go kid on the house!" The cashier said like he should be proud.

"UGH! FINE! Now can I have the rest of my stuff?" Naruto said snatching away the glorified splinter.

"What stuff?" the cashier said with an innocent (See Malicious) smile.  
The cashier smirked in victory as he saw the look of complete rage that flashed over the demons face. But that quickly vanished when the demon seemed to calm down and even but on a smile.

"Well gee thanks for the sword mister!" Naruto said forcing himself to smile. "I better test it out!" He said and swung his "Sword" and shattered one of the displays. "Wow! IT HANDLES REAL WELL!" Naruto yelled before dashing out the door to the weapons shop smashing anything a long the way and making sure to send the suit of armor displayed in the window flying out of it.

**-_- 2 hours later**

"THOSE! (THWACK!) MOTHER! (THWACK) FUCKING ASSHOLES! (TH-THW-THWAAAACK!) WHY CAN'T THE LEAVE ME ALONE!" Naruto shouted and unleashed a symphony of attacks while channeling chakra through the "sword" as he continuously smashed the blade against the offending tree that he was standing in front of. Jumping back Naruto roared in anger before charging forward and stabbing his sword through the trunk.

Panting in anger and exhaustion he collapsed onto the ground not even wonder how a wooden sword went through such a thick tree.

**(CRACK! CR-CRAAAAACCCCKKKK!)**

"Oh you have got to be shitting me." Naruto moaned before looking but at the tree in front of him... apparently he'd caused just enough damage to knock it over.

**(FUMP!)**

"Well (cough, cough) that was unexpected." Naruto stated. When the tree had crashed onto the ground he'd expected and explosion of splinters as per usual. Instead the tree exploded into a large pile of dust that was quickly blown away revealing his "sword". Except this time it was different. It was no longer as jagged and had lost a lot of its "glorified splinter appeal". Now it was more streamline and actually had the appearance of a sword. It even had an actual edge now! The wood was still grayish and looked partially petrified (actually it looked more petrified now then before), but all in all it looked pretty good.

Going over to it Naruto reached for his "sword" and just as he reached for it, it exploded in a shower of green sparks that all lanced into his body.

"Okay what the fuck was that?!" He shouted curious, getting now response he grabbed the less glorified splinter.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed as pain flooded his body. Something was filling him he could fill it burning through his vanes like liquid fire. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" He screamed again as the pain intensified before it suddenly left. Blinking in after shock of the pain before Naruto could say anything red chakra began to build up all over his body. "AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!" Naruto screamed again as the chakra poured out of his body and flowed into a single point next to his hand.

Collapsing in bliss after the torturous feelings stopped flooding his systems, Naruto laid there for what felt like hours. And just as he felt himself begin to fade out he felt a hand gently touching the back of his head, snapping him into action instantly. Faster then the untrained eye could follow Naruto lunched himself forward using his hands as a kind of spring to accomplish this. And he could really stop himself he snatched up his sword and brought it around in a defensive position, but then flinched when he saw that he again had the blade and waited for it to bite him again. When nothing was forth coming he looked up at the person who had touched him and saw... Nothing...

"What the fuck..." Naruto said having sworn that he had felt someone touch him. "Oooh! Shiny!" Naruto said surprised when his saw something sparkle on the ground. Reaching down Naruto was surprised when he found a deadly looking dagger. In the pommel was a bright red orb that seemed like it was on fire. The hilt was a black and red mixture with no one color being the dominant instead they both seemed to mix into a kind of half-breed soup. The hand guard was in the likeness of a roaring fox with the blade emerging from its mouth. The blade itself was long and sharp with a slight curve that was serrated on the duller back edge.

"Wow this looks dangerous..." Naruto stated.

**"YOU BET I'M DANGEROUS BRAT AND DON'T FORGET IT WHEN DEALING WITH ME BAKA!" **a voice said from within his mind.

"WHAA!" Naruto yelled and dropped the dagger in surprise.

**"BAKA!" **roared the voice** "HOW DARE YOU DARE TO DROP THE LEGENDARY KYUUBI NO KITSUNE!" **The voice yelled while the weapon glowed red slightly.

"You're the Kyuubi? Impossible! The fourth destroyed you!"

**"Hehe don't believe everything you hear squirt. It is impossible to kill one of the Nine Legendary Biju. We can only be sealed... Unfortunately."**

"So the Forth sealed you in this dagger." Naruto asked curiously picking the weapon back up.

**"No. You had the privilege of having me sealed within you how I came to be in this dagger is a mystery to me" **The demon fox stated oblivious to the shock that it had just given to it's previous container.

"WHAT!"

**-_- 1 hr. and 1 discussion later.**

Naruto was attacking the trees around the clearing flowing through his attacks with a beautiful almost practiced grace. In Actuality he was just going with the flow of what felt right, but every now and then he'd get an almost imperceptible nudge from the peculiar weapon that he'd been given by the ass hat at that weapon shop, telling what to do or how to do it. It was almost like it was alive and aware of what he was doing. But that was impossible as far as he was concerned. But then again he did have a Biju turned into a dagger strapped to his hip so anything was possible he supposed.

Sighing Naruto stopped as yet another tree fell before his onslaught. All ready there was several empty spaces of were there once stood a tree. And again the green sparks lanced into his body.

With another sigh Naruto looked down at the "sword"

"I'm going to have to wrap you or something. I certainly need to give you a grip other wise one good strike and your going flying." The blond boy stated looking at his weapon and received a gentle nudge of approval mental.

"Right. Kyuubi on my hip and weird almost talking wood in hand... good god that sounded insane even to me..." with a sigh Naruto sat down and took a rolls of bandages out of his fanny pack. One was the usual white and the other a bright orange the same shade as his jumper. First he wrapped two inches of the blade that he was using as a hilt with the white bandages before folding back down so that the rest would hang off. Then taking out the orange bandages Naruto completely wrapped the area he would be using as hilt. Grabbing the white bandage again he pulled them up so that they would cover the blade portion. Leaving him with a white blade with an orange hilt.

"Mmmmm.. That looks beast.," the boy stated looking at his finished blade.

Looking up into the sky Naruto saw how late it was and started heading back home. Never noticing the shadow (that had appeared about mid way through his forth tree) that had been watching disappear.

"Hokage-Sama isn't going to be happy about this." A white haired Anbu said to himself as he dashed towards the Hokage tower.

**S-16: And that's a wrap! Please review and I'll be happy! Good-bye! Good Luck! And stay frosty!**


End file.
